What is There to be Proud of?

My life up until the start of this year has been a lie.
I've lied to friends and I'm still lying to my family.
I don't lie in public anymore.
With friends and the general public that knows me, I'm a constantly ecstatic queer kid.
With those I am related to, I'm just a straight boy who has no business with his family.
I live two lives, severely divided.
So, a liar is what I am.

What do I have to be proud of?
I have no skills, no knowledge.
I have no ability.
I have no form of artistic expression.
I have no real accomplishments.
So, wasted potential is what I am.

What was the point of writing this?
Did I expect those truths listed to become false?
Did I expect I would suddenly have something to pride myself in?
Did I expect someone would come in here and try to tell me all of this otherwise?
No.
That would make me an ignorant hopeful.
I just felt this needed to be documented in the hopes of finding something I can be satisfied with about myself in the future.

But what is a queer liar who lives two lives, set apart, with no particular abilities supposed to be satisfied in himself with?